COVID-19,

You have given us so much more than you could even take away…

You sure have made yourself known.  And yes, we underestimated you.  You continually keep taking things away from us and breaking our hearts each time you restrict us from living our lives and seeing our loved ones.  But ultimately, you have given us much more than you could ever take away and for that we say, you will not break us!

It’s true, we allowed you to take away our opportunity to attend our schools. But you made all of us appreciate our teachers and see just how much they do every day and how much they love our children. You gave us the chance to see our children’s minds work first hand, and to sit next to them and watch as their beautiful minds continue to grow.

You took away our ability to have dinner together at a restaurant, but instead you gave us the chance to sit down with our loved ones around the dinner table and talk.  Before this, we barely had the time to cook dinner together more or less eat as a family because our busy schedules didn’t permit it.

You took away the chance for us to shake hands or sit beside our friends, or hug our loved ones, but you gave us the ability to see how much our friends and family really mean to us. You really made me see the love that I have for those around me.

You took away our sense of security and our ability to feel safe. But, you gave us a level of compassion and understanding towards others that we never had before.

You took away our ceremonies and our seniors opportunity to have their final celebrations, but instead, you gave us memories we can look back upon some day and realize that we made history and saved humanity.

You took away the promise to always have what we need at the stores.  But, you gave us the ability to be thankful for the people that stock our shelves and make the food we depend on every day and to be grateful for the small things that make our everyday life easier.

You took away our ability to attend church services with our community, but you gave us so much more. You gave us the appreciation of celebrating and thanking God as a family and you gave us the ability to see our faith from a different level, a more intense and personal level.

You took away our routines and our daily comfort zone that we all live in, but instead you gave us the chance to slow down and cherish every moment.

You took away our feeling of being safe.  Our feeling of security to know that when I go to work, I will return safely to my family.  But you made us see that every single one of our nurses, doctors, and everyone on the front lines of this deserve our upmost respect and appreciation, because they are risking their lives to give us care and comfort.  This is the true spirit of humanity and I thank you for opening my eyes to it all.

You took away our ability to have a friend to our house or get together, but you made us really appreciate our neighbors sweet wave from across the field or the technology we have to still connect with each other through online face to face video.

You took away our ability to see my students face to face, and while that breaks my heart, you have given me an opportunity to learn new things and teach my students lessons on understanding and patience I never could have before.

You took away my child’s sporting events and ability to compete and show great sportsmanship, yet you allowed me to play outside and hear the sweet sound of their giggles and laughter, and see the world through the innocence of my children and for that I will be eternally grateful.

You have taken away my gym and my ability to work out, but you have given me the ability to take a walk in the middle of the day and see God’s beauty and really appreciate it, without feeling like one more thing on my to do list.

You gave me the ability to be there for my neighbor. To call them and make sure they’re OK when in reality, if I’m really honest with myself, it’s probably something I wouldn’t have done because my to do list was too long.

You took away our chance to come together as a community in any way shape or form, but you brought us together in a much deeper way.  You made us realize that we are one.  One community, one family, one soul all working for the same goal.  We are more alike than we are different.  You took away the divide of a country and gave us the opportunity to see that we all breathe the same air, we all need to same basic things, and we all love.

Yes, In the end you took away our safety net.  You have made us question everything we have ever known.  But we will never let you win.  What you will never know, is that you have given us so much more than you have taken away from us.  In the end God has a plan for all of us. Soon, this part of our history will be over and we will be making new memories with a whole new appreciation of the little things and a whole new insight into what really matters. You have given us more than you will even take from us.

Godspeed my friends. The celebration at the end of this journey, will be not only be amazing, it will be worth it!   

Dear 16-year-old son, 

You’ll never know that I cried as you walked away today. 

 

Today is your 16th birthday.  

From the day you were born and even before that I have loved you and cared for you and been the one to hold you and soothe you when you were little. . .

And today I just dropped you off at basketball practice for probably the very last time.  Tomorrow you will get your license and gain your freedom to go out into this wonderful world without me, and hopefully make it better, as I pray I have raised you to do.  

But I want you to know, I cried as you walked away today.  My heart was happy to see the young man you have grown to be.  But a part of my heart broke as you walked away today because I know, I won’t have that time with you anymore.  Those few seconds on the road together, will be far and few between.  I loved our chats as we would drive to and from practice.  I loved the way you giggled at me when I would sing along with the radio. I smiled inside when you would roll your eyes at me because your music was inappropriate, and not meant for your mama’s ears.  I loved when we turned the music up and jammed to what I called the “good” songs and you referred to as “oldies.”  And that smile, that smile you would flash me when you made a mistake practicing driving is something I will hold in my heart forever.

But most of all, I am going to miss all of those little tiny moments where you would open up and talk to me in the car.  It was just you and me.  No siblings, no life, no homework, no phones going off, no world around us, it was just us.  Just us discussing your day, your friends, the good and bad of the world, or simply just a quick "It was a good day, Mom."  I will forever cherish those moments.  They are some of my favorites.  

So, today I cried as you walked away from my car knowing that tomorrow you would get that ounce of freedom that you so desperately have been waiting for, and I have unsuccessfully tried to hold onto.  

Dear God, please keep him safe and watch over him.  Watch over his siblings and friends who will be riding with him and always bring him home to me.

Son, always know that I will be waiting for you to return and praying while you are gone. You are my whole world and I can’t wait for you to see what this wonderful world has waiting for you.  I will always cherish and miss that little boy, strapped into his car seat, eating Teddy Grahams and singing the songs that I once approved of.  :)  

So yes, I cried today as you walked away from my car, but I know you are walking in to so many wonderful things that I can’t wait for you to experience.  Happy Birthday my dear child!  And don't forget to ask your mom to go for a drive every once in while. You will make her day!